Zelda's Adventure

There's a point towards the end of the Zelda's Adventure where I was swinging Zelda's wand and killing creatures without actually hitting them that my son turned to me and said, "Dad, why is this game like this?  It doesn't make any sense."  A few minutes later, he watched as I walked right past the boss of the final dungeon without fighting him and claimed the last stone triangle.  This game is broken in so, so many ways.  It was cancelled in the United States and should probably have never seen the light of day anywhere.  But it did and I finished it.

There was a moment just before the second dungeon where I got a disc read error and lost an hour of progress.  I quit for the day and almost quit on my goal to beat all the Zeldas.  The game is that tedious to play.  This game is set up like a traditional top down Legend of Zelda game.  You would think that would make it better, but it doesn't.  All the characters are digitized actors.  From the top down though, they look hideous and barely resemble people.  Every time you move screens, there is a 1-2 second load.  It is tedious, but you can get used to it.

 

That's supposed to be a woman talking to Zelda.

So it looks and plays more like a traditional Zelda game, then you might wonder, "Why is it so bad?"  The answer is, it is broken and unfinished.  I've read this game was completed in 1992, but then went through two years of testing and revisions after during which most of the staff was cut.  To get the game to launch, portions were just stripped out.  I believe that.  Characters will refer to locations in the game by three different names.  You will get items that are never used.  You will be told items work in ways they don't.  

The combat is also bad.  Some characters can only be killed with specific items.  The problem is you have 40 items or so and each takes rubies (they call them that in this game) to use.  You would go broke just guessing which to use (seriously, if you are going to play this game: use this guide).  Some of the enemies are broken and are just stuck in the environment.  The bosses have no A.I. and just follow scripted patterns around the floor.  That means on some levels you can stand in a certain spot and not get hit.  Another fun treat is that about half the dungeons just have slippery floors for no reason (it's not ice, just slick) and you can slide into enemies or pits that send you to the beginning of the dungeon.

 

The bartender is wearing a baseball cap while old western music plays.

The cartoon animations in Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon get made fun of, but at least the quality of the voice acting is decent.  They hired professional actors.  For this game, they just got whoever they could find for voices and mo-cap.  I read that Zelda is played by the company receptionist.  The acting is terrible and many characters speak in bizarre riddles.  The costumes are inconsistent and terrible.  You walk into the "Moblin Inn" and meet a bartender wearing a vest and a baseball cap. 

 

The Shrine of Strength is actually a fun idea.

There were a few moments I enjoyed.  The sixth dungeon was the Shrine of Strength.  It's set up like a midieval tournament.  Zelda starts at some vendors, then tries games to earn rubies before challenging the jousting and broadsword champions.  It was a fun idea and the theming remains consistent up until the boss, who is a giant bear for some reason.

 

Zelda fighting Diablo (I mean Ganon).

I mentioned the bosses.  There are three occasions where you can choose to just walk past a mid-boss or dungeon boss.  The final lair for Ganon has a boss rush of all the dungeon bosses.  But, true to this game, they forgot to include one of them.  Also, Ganon in this game is Diablo.  Not sure why.  It doesn't make sense and nothing in this game does.  This is going all the way down at the bottom of the list where it belongs.

 Here's my updated list: 

1. The Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past
2. The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
3. The Legend of Zelda
4. Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
5. Zelda: The Wand of Gamelon
6. BS Legend of Zelda
7. Link: The Faces of Evil
8. Zelda (Game & Watch)
9. Zelda's Adventure